This is all I have to give!

Some days, I wonder how in the world I ever thought I'd be a decent mom. I feel tired and stretched in ways I never imagined. Like so many other moms, I had this ideal picture of what motherhood would look like.

My daughter is almost 9. My bonus son is 7 1/2, and my little guy is 3 1/2. (I like bonus son much better than stepson. There's something more positive about a bonus!)

In May, we just finished our first year in homeschooling. It was something I'd wanted to do since Lily started kindergarten, but being pregnant with Caleb, I didn't feel the time was right. This past year, all of the pieces lined up just right and we dove into a whole new lifestyle. When you homeschool, it becomes a way of life instead of something you just 'do'.

I honestly think we're busier now than we were when Lily and Alex were in regular school. Oh my word.....between school work, adding fun things like field trips, co-op classes, private music lessons, play dates....my days are just as full as before, but in a different way. My mornings are less chaotic because I don't have to wake everyone up before the sun shines. (That's a HUGE blessing alone.) With the kids in 4th, 2nd, and preschool, our school days are pretty short, but we have the flexibility to incorporate other things in. This spring, we started watching the birds that came to our bird feeders and ended up doing a month long bird study! We even watched a nesting robin hatch two sets of babies. It was an amazing experience.

This wonderful journey that God has us on leaves me tired at times. I feel a huge responsibility to make sure my kids are properly prepared for life. But, I am also human. I am so glad that God will be able to fill in the gaps of where I fall short, as a mom, but as a teacher now too. That's not to say that I am leaving my children's education to chance....just that being a perfectionist by nature, there is no real way to homeschool 'perfect'. There is no perfect....only what works for each child individually.

While this adventure is draining at times and I feel utterly spent, there is such joy in my 3 year old asking to learn how to write his letters, in getting the paint out and studying famous artists, and in little 'rabbit trails' like our bird study. Homeschool is a sacrifice, but so is being a mom! I will not regret giving my kids this opportunity. It's all I have to give...to prepare them as much as possible for a great future in Jesus!